APRIL 4, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Footlights: Masters of Flemish Art Revealed. Impact: The art exhibition is a pivotal moment that inspires a future generation of hipster artists who, despite having no real talent, will claim to be the reincarnation of Rubens in coffee shops across the globe.. Fact: Bob Newhart once made a career out of talking to imaginary characters, a skill that would come in handy when discussing today's political debates..
• Headline: U.S. Acts to Protect Enron Investors. Impact: The government's intervention in Enron is the first domino in a long line of financial regulations that ultimately leads to the rise of the 'I'm not a financial advisor, but...' meme.. Fact: Enron's collapse was so spectacular it inspired an entire generation of college students to pursue careers in accounting—not for the love of numbers, but for the thrill of avoiding bankruptcy..
• Headline: Arrests in Afghan Political Conspiracy. Impact: The crackdown on political opponents not only consolidates Karzai's power but also sets off a chain reaction of political intrigue that will inspire countless Hollywood scripts, all of which will get the historical context completely wrong.. Fact: Hamid Karzai once had a pet goat named 'Baa-rrack'—no relation to the former U.S. President, but it made for some interesting family dinners..
• Headline: Kirch Nears Bankruptcy as Loan Deal Falters. Impact: Kirch's near bankruptcy serves as a cautionary tale that leads to the birth of 'reality TV' in Germany, where the financial crises of media tycoons become the next big entertainment genre.. Fact: Rupert Murdoch's involvement in Kirch's rescue talks is the reason behind the phrase 'never mix business with pleasure'—because who wants to discuss bankruptcy over a nice dinner?.