MARCH 4, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nets Clinch Victory Over Bulls in Tense Game. Impact: Little did the world know that this basketball game would lead to the creation of the first 'Basketball Fanatic' support group, which eventually inspired a generation to wear oversized jerseys and consume unhealthy snacks in record amounts.. Fact: Did you know that the average basketball fan consumes about 1.5 bags of chips per game? No wonder they need a support group!.
• Headline: Gores Technology Group to Compete for Global. Impact: This bid sparked an unexpected chain reaction, leading to the creation of a new economic theory: 'The More Companies Fail, the More Bids You Get' – a favorite among aspiring investors who just love dumpster diving into bankruptcy.. Fact: Fun fact: Global Crossing's bankruptcy was so monumental that it inspired a line of 'How to Fail at Business' self-help books. Spoiler alert: They all sold out..
• Headline: Fort Hancock Renovation Project Begins. Impact: Transforming Fort Hancock into a resort led to the invention of the 'History Buff’s Vacation Package,' where guests could pretend to enjoy sunbathing while listening to a two-hour lecture on the fort's storied past.. Fact: The National Park Service once considered turning it into a haunted house attraction until they realized the ghosts were more interested in vacationing in Bermuda..
• Headline: Election Fight Sharpens Split in the Actors Union. Impact: This contentious election ignited a firestorm of drama that eventually inspired a new genre of reality TV: 'Actors in Conflict' – which is basically just actors fighting over who gets to be the loudest.. Fact: Fun fact: The SAG presidency race is the only contest where the candidates’ drama skills are more important than their actual policies. Who knew 'acting' could be so... competitive?.