MARCH 3, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Inside Chuck's Place in Washington, DC. Impact: In a parallel universe, the cozy arrangement of Schumer, Durbin, Miller, and Delahunt leads to the formation of a secret society known as the 'Couch Potatoes for Progress,' which accidentally inspires a generation of politicians to rethink their living arrangements and ultimately leads to the Great Political Furniture Swap of 2025.. Fact: Did you know that sharing a house with four politicians is statistically proven to decrease the average household's productivity by 83%? And that's not even counting the endless debates over who gets the last slice of pizza..
• Headline: Postings: Sellers Must Provide Information; Disclosure Law Takes Effect. Impact: This disclosure law creates a ripple effect that leads to an unexpected boom in DIY home inspections, causing countless homeowners to become amateur inspectors, which eventually results in a reality TV show called 'Fix-It or Forget-It.'. Fact: Fun fact: In New York, a seller's disclosure statement has more fine print than the average novel, which might explain why everyone is still confused about what they’re buying..
• Headline: She's Out Of the Closet. Now What?. Impact: Rosie's revelation sparks a nationwide wave of celebrity confessions, leading to a cultural phenomenon where celebrities start 'coming out' as fans of mundane activities, like knitting and birdwatching, thus forever altering the landscape of public perception.. Fact: Did you know that Rosie O'Donnell's coming out was so low-key that even her cat was like, 'Yeah, we knew. Get over it!'.