FEBRUARY 16, 2002

Full News Archive

• Headline: Impact of Global Economy on Small Towns. Impact: The economic struggles of small towns led to a mass migration towards cities, inadvertently causing a hipster renaissance that made avocado toast the global currency. Who knew the downfall of rural America would lead to overpriced brunch spots?. Fact: Did you know that the average avocado toast costs more than a small town's annual budget? Welcome to globalization!.
• Headline: Public Toilets: A New York Dilemma. Impact: The absence of public toilets in New York turned the city into an open-air bathroom, which inspired a new trend: 'Urban Nature Appreciation,' where locals embraced the wild side of city living. Talk about taking 'going green' too literally!. Fact: Did you know that New York's public toilets are like unicorns? Everyone talks about them, but no one has seen one in years!.
• Headline: Bush and Lay's Electric Deregulation Correspondence. Impact: The cozy relationship between Bush and Lay paved the way for a new era of crony capitalism, where the phrase 'it's not what you know, but who you know' became the unofficial motto of American politics. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Did you know that the letters between Bush and Lay were so friendly, they could've been mistaken for a buddy cop movie script? Spoiler alert: it ends with financial disaster..
• Headline: Morgan Stanley Made Big Cut In 2001 Pay Of Its Chief. Impact: The drastic pay cut at Morgan Stanley set a precedent, leading to a chain reaction where CEOs began to actually feel the weight of their wallets, giving rise to 'CEO empathy training'—which is just code for more yoga classes.. Fact: Did you know that Purcell's pay cut was so dramatic, it made reality TV stars look underpaid? The struggle is real!.