OCTOBER 12, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. War Plans Complicated by Afghan Politics. Impact: If only the U.S. had consulted a Magic 8-Ball instead of politicians, maybe the last two decades would have been a tad less chaotic. Imagine a world where people just sat down for a cup of chai instead of firing missiles. Who knew bad coffee could lead to endless conflict?. Fact: Did you know that the Afghan conflict has become the longest war in U.S. history? At this rate, they might as well start teaching it as a high school subject..
• Headline: Duration of Afghanistan Engagement Uncertain. Impact: Ah, the 'long war' – a concept that would later inspire countless memes and a few too many action movies. Who knew that prolonging a conflict could lead to a national pastime of watching politicians dance around accountability?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'long war' could also refer to your last family vacation? You know, the one where nothing went as planned and everyone ended up arguing?.
• Headline: Broadway's Strindberg Revival Starring Legends. Impact: The revival of 'Dance of Death' may have inadvertently inspired countless reality shows about relationships. Who knew that watching Ian McKellen and Helen Mirren could lead to a rise in dramatic confrontations at dinner parties?. Fact: Did you know that Strindberg’s work is often categorized as 'naturalistic'? Because nothing says 'natural' like watching people snipe at each other over existential crises..
• Headline: World Business Briefing | Australia: Australia: Murdoch Expects Flat Year. Impact: Rupert Murdoch’s flat predictions foreshadowed the flatness of many a news cycle. Who knew that a $100 million loss could lead to a decade of sensational news stories that would make your head spin?. Fact: Did you know that being a media mogul means losing millions one day and making billions the next? It's like a roller coaster, but without the safety harness..