OCTOBER 10, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Job Cuts at Mitsubishi Materials Corp. Impact: The job cuts at Mitsubishi were a signal that corporate downsizing was about to become a global pastime. Thanks to this, we now enjoy a wonderful world where companies have perfected the art of firing employees through Zoom calls.. Fact: Mitsubishi cutting jobs is like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat—except the rabbit is your job and the hat is the economy!.
• Headline: Oil Companies Are Increasing Their Already Tight Security. Impact: Increased security for oil companies led to an arms race in corporate security measures, resulting in the bizarre scenario of security guards being better equipped than some third-world armies. Who knew oil could lead to such a militarized economy?. Fact: Remember when oil was just a thing you put in your car? Now it’s like a blockbuster movie where everyone’s vying for the best security detail!.
• Headline: Footlights. Impact: The exhibitions at the Katonah Museum might have seemed innocuous, but they sparked a cultural renaissance that made art appreciation a hipster fashion statement, leading to galleries with more beards than paintings. Art is now officially a trend!. Fact: While you were busy scrolling through social media, museums were busy turning into Instagram backdrops. Thanks for keeping us cultured, millennials!.