SEPTEMBER 5, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Elections Board Struggles with Upcoming Primaries. Impact: The half-hearted attempts to avert chaos in elections led to a massive increase in conspiracy theories about voting systems, which eventually resulted in a reality show called 'Election Survivor'. Who knew democracy could be so entertaining?. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'trying to avert chaos' is just political speak for 'we're winging it!'.
• Headline: Concerns Over Online Privacy Rise. Impact: As Big PC Brother kept watch, users' frustrations grew, leading to the rise of the anti-cookie movement. This inadvertently caused a massive spike in the popularity of online privacy tools and, ironically, made everyone even more paranoid about what they were sharing.. Fact: Did you know that cookies were originally meant for dunking in milk? Now they're just tracking your every online move. Progress?.
• Headline: The Body Is My Canvas. Impact: Jill Hazen's work as a plastic surgeon may have inspired a generation of people to see their bodies as art, leading to an unexpected increase in body positivity movements. Ironically, her work also led to the rise of a huge market for 'natural look' products—because who doesn't want to look naturally enhanced?. Fact: Fun fact: In the world of plastic surgery, the phrase 'the body is my canvas' is often followed by 'and I have a very interesting artist's palette!'.
• Headline: Staying Alive in a Crowded Race; Upside of Term Limits: Campaign Feels, Well, Democratic. Impact: The crowded race for the City Council seat was so competitive that it inspired a new genre of political drama series, where candidates would outwit each other with increasingly ridiculous campaign promises. Spoiler alert: everyone ends up in a debate about the best pizza in town.. Fact: Did you know that term limits were invented so politicians could have a break from pretending to care? It's like a mandated vacation from hypocrisy!.