JULY 22, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Farmers Protest Free Trade Impact in Mexico. Impact: The unrest among Mexican farmers led to a massive increase in avocado consumption in the U.S., which somehow snowballed into the rise of hipster cafes everywhere, selling overpriced avocado toast. Thanks, Nafta!. Fact: Did you know that without the stress from free trade agreements, many farmers might have just opted to grow regular crops instead of avocados? But hey, who doesn't love a good brunch?.
• Headline: Torre's Future as Yankees Manager Uncertain. Impact: Joe Torre's contract renewal saga eventually led to the Yankees' obsession with high-profile players, which in turn contributed to a dramatic increase in the price of peanuts at baseball games. Coincidence? I think not.. Fact: Fun fact: In 2000, Joe Torre managed the Yankees to a World Series championship, proving that sometimes, staying in your job is the best way to avoid doing actual work..
• Headline: Animals' Thoughts: The Psychic Connection. Impact: Animal psychics gained a huge following, leading to the rise of 'pet whisperers' who now charge you an arm and a leg to tell you that your cat just wants to be left alone. This also caused pets to start demanding better health coverage.. Fact: Did you know that your dog has probably been plotting world domination since the day you brought him home? But instead, he just settled for stealing your socks..
• Headline: Armstrong Finally Wears Yellow Jersey. Impact: Armstrong wearing the yellow jersey not only inspired countless cyclists but also led to an explosion of cycling gear sales, which in turn resulted in the invention of the 'lycra-clad bike commuter' stereotype. Thanks, Lance!. Fact: Did you know that wearing a yellow jersey in cycling is a status symbol? So, if you ever feel underappreciated, just throw on some bright clothing and ride your bike to work; instant celebrity!.