JULY 21, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Balancing Police Resources in Missing Persons Cases. Impact: The continuous struggle of missing-person cases led to the creation of a reality TV show where families compete to find their loved ones faster than the police. Ironically, the winner gets a trophy but still no closure.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'missing in action' is often used in sitcoms to describe characters who ghost their friends? Because apparently, that’s how we deal with absence now..
• Headline: U.S. Observers in Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. Impact: Israel allowing U.S. observers paved the way for a questionable reality show where every American thinks they understand Middle Eastern politics. Spoiler: they don’t.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'American observer' is often used to describe someone who has never left their hometown but is an expert on international relations? Truly remarkable..
• Headline: Clinton Office Is Furnished Off the Shelf In Nod to Cost. Impact: The decision to furnish Bill Clinton's office with off-the-shelf items birthed an entire industry of 'Presidential Garage Sales,' where every former leader’s outdated furniture is auctioned off to the highest bidder.. Fact: Did you know that the average American spends more time choosing a couch than a president? Clearly, comfort trumps leadership in our priorities..
• Headline: Rivals Waging A Media War Over Wachovia. Impact: The media war over Wachovia led to a series of ad campaigns that eventually convinced people to invest in 'gas station chicken' stocks instead, creating a bizarre financial bubble nobody saw coming.. Fact: Did you know that banks fighting over shareholders is basically corporate MMA? With the only difference being that no one actually gets hurt—unless you count financial ruin..