JULY 13, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Deutsche Bank Cancels Equity Sale Deal. Impact: The canceled sale may have prevented the rise of a new corporate overlord in finance, sparing us from a dystopian future where people are replaced by automated spreadsheets and coffee machines run the board meetings.. Fact: Did you know that Deutsche Bank has been involved in more scandals than a reality TV star? Who knew banking could be so riveting!.
• Headline: In a Shift, United Renews Its Bid to Acquire US Airways. Impact: United Airlines' attempt to buy US Airways was like that awkward high school dance where no one knows who should make the first move. This led to many future mergers dragging their feet, leaving us with a world where flying requires a PhD to understand the fees.. Fact: Did you know that the merger eventually happened, but not without a lot of turbulence? No, seriously, they should have included that in the pre-flight safety video..
• Headline: Reporter's Notebook; For McCain and the House, A Day of Twists and Turmoil. Impact: McCain’s push against soft money could have led to a time where political campaigns are funded purely by bake sales and car washes, drastically changing the way we think about campaign strategies—and dessert.. Fact: Did you know that John McCain was known for his often colorful metaphors? Imagine if he had run his campaign on a platform of cookies and lemonade instead of cash!.