JUNE 14, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bloomberg's Giuliani-Inspired Campaign Strategy. Impact: If Bloomberg had channeled his inner Giuliani effectively, we might have seen a 21st century Gotham where hot dog vendors were also life coaches. Instead, we just got more hot dogs and existential crises.. Fact: Bloomberg did end up becoming mayor, but let's face it, he was more interested in banning large sodas than solving the city's problems..
• Headline: Tough Challenges Await at Southern Hills. Impact: The difficulty of this golf course set off a chain reaction, leading to golfers everywhere blaming their clubs, the weather, and their caddies for poor performances instead of admitting they just can't putt.. Fact: Southern Hills has hosted the US Open multiple times, and yet, somehow, the grass never learned to putt for the players..
• Headline: Milestone Reflections in Tick, Tick...Boom!. Impact: Larson's work sparked a generation of people who thought they could write musicals about their quarter-life crises, leading to a boom in overpriced therapy sessions and avocado toast.. Fact: Tick, Tick...Boom! was written before 'adulting' became a thing, proving that some crises are timeless, like our inability to adult properly..
• Headline: O'Neal Powers Lakers to Verge of a Repeat. Impact: O'Neal's performance not only led the Lakers to victory but also inspired countless backyard games where kids attempted to emulate his style, resulting in a rise in broken windows and parental eye rolls.. Fact: Shaquille O'Neal is 7'1" tall, which is just a little bit taller than my expectations of the Lakers' performance in a playoff series..
• Headline: Some Russians Are Alarmed At Tighter Grip Under Putin. Impact: Putin's tightening grip on Russia set off a chain reaction of memes, political dissidents, and a whole lot of confused tourists wondering why they can't take pictures of anything without permission.. Fact: In Russia, the phrase 'freedom of speech' is often followed by 'but only if you want to visit Siberia.'.