MAY 23, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Jersey's Ballooning Budget Deficit. Impact: This $1.6 billion deficit in New Jersey sparked a statewide obsession with budgeting and spreadsheets that led to the creation of 'Budgeting Bingo,' a game where participants mark off budget cuts while sipping espresso. This ultimately ruined any chance of budgetary sanity for years to come.. Fact: Did you know that New Jersey is the only state where traffic jams are considered a valid form of economic growth?.
• Headline: Rise in Reports of Sexual Abuse in Schools. Impact: The spike in reports of sexual abuse in schools led to an increased awareness and advocacy for student safety, but also inspired a long series of poorly conceived 'Safety Awareness Week' activities that involved inflatable mascots and a lot of awkward conversations.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing scarier than a teacher with a penchant for misconduct is the inflatable mascot that awkwardly tries to teach kids about 'boundaries.'.
• Headline: Israel Issues Ceasefire Order for Troops. Impact: The order to withhold fire fundamentally changed military engagement rules, leading to a bizarre future where soldiers practiced interpretive dance as a form of non-violent communication—a trend that was rapidly unpopular due to its complete lack of effectiveness.. Fact: Did you know that during ceasefires, soldiers often have to resort to extreme measures like playing cards or knitting to fill the time? It’s not as fun as it sounds..