MAY 21, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jennifer Capriati's Rise in Tennis Rankings. Impact: If Jennifer Capriati hadn't found her winning combination, we could have been stuck with a world where tennis was just a bunch of people in white outfits chasing fuzzy yellow balls around. Oh wait, that still happens!. Fact: Did you know that Capriati once became the youngest player to win a Grand Slam title at just 16? It's almost like they were handing out trophies for showing up back then!.
• Headline: Bush Advocates Private Aid for Poverty. Impact: Bush's push for private sector involvement in aiding the poor might have led to a world where corporations started offering 'charity' as a tax write-off instead of a moral obligation. Who knew saving the world could be so profitable?. Fact: Fun fact: Lyndon B. Johnson’s War on Poverty was basically the 60s version of 'let’s pretend to care while doing nothing'—a tradition that has definitely lived on!.
• Headline: Elvis Costello and Anne Sofie von Otter Unite. Impact: Elvis Costello's collaboration with a mezzo-soprano could have opened the floodgates for future artist mashups, leading us to a timeline where country rap is a Grammy category and nobody knows what genre is what anymore.. Fact: Did you know Elvis Costello was once mistaken for a janitor at a concert? Talk about a career low—guess he was just too 'clean' for the music scene!.