MAY 17, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Teenager Rights in NBA Recruitment Debate. Impact: If only high schoolers had been allowed to play in the NBA, perhaps LeBron would have saved us from reality TV. Instead, we got a plethora of teen dramas, which, unsurprisingly, didn’t require a basketball court.. Fact: Did you know that the average height of an NBA player has been steadily increasing? Clearly, they must be drinking their milk, or maybe just standing on each other's shoulders..
• Headline: Bush's Comprehensive Energy Initiative Explained. Impact: Bush's energy plan set off a chain reaction that led to endless debates about fossil fuels, conservation, and the elusive promise of a better tomorrow. Spoiler alert: we're still waiting.. Fact: Did you know that the reviews of gas mileage standards are less thrilling than watching paint dry? But hey, at least they’re better than watching Congress try to agree on anything..
• Headline: Britain's Jobless Rate Hits Record Low. Impact: The drop in Britain's jobless rate was so monumental it probably caused a collective sigh of relief across the nation. Or was that just the sound of people realizing they still have to pay taxes?. Fact: Fun fact: A 26-year low in jobless rates is about as exciting as finding a penny on the street—great, but you still won't be able to afford that luxury yacht..
• Headline: A Giver of Parties That a Set Jetted In For. Impact: The auction at Sotheby's might have sparked an underground competition for the most ostentatious home decor, leading to a generations-long rivalry over who can own the most ridiculous furniture.. Fact: Did you know that the French Riviera is often referred to as a playground for the rich? Apparently, it’s where they go to practice their ‘look at my wealth’ faces..