MAY 10, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Decorating a Triplex Cloister. Impact: If only Serrano had used those crucifixes to create a trendy Instagram aesthetic, perhaps the world would have been spared from the never-ending cycle of influencer culture. We might have been saved from countless avocado toast posts!. Fact: Did you know that crucifixes are actually great at warding off bad design choices? Just ask any trendy coffee shop..
• Headline: Sky Broadcasting Faces Digital Challenges. Impact: This colossal loss might have pushed British Sky Broadcasting to innovate sooner, leading to the rise of streaming services. So, thanks for helping Netflix become a household name, BSkyB!. Fact: Sky's losses could buy a small country's worth of avocados. Just think of the brunches!.
• Headline: Cultural Highlights: Concerts and Exhibitions. Impact: The culture of arts festivals proliferated from this moment, leading to cities everywhere hosting increasingly bizarre events. Who knew that a concert could eventually lead to a festival dedicated to cheese rolling?. Fact: Yusef Komunyakaa won the Ruth Lilly Poetry Award, which is basically the literary equivalent of being told you're the best at being 'not boring'..
• Headline: IN SHOW OF UNITY, HOUSE REPUBLICANS PASS BUDGET BILL. Impact: This budget bill passing could have led to more partisanship, which, surprise surprise, snowballed into decades of political gridlock. Thanks, House Republicans! You really nailed it.. Fact: The term 'unity' in politics is like calling a group of cats a 'team'—it sounds nice, but good luck getting them to agree on anything..
• Headline: Backwater No More, Venice Is Rising. Impact: Venice's rise as a hipster haven likely inspired countless gentrification movements, leading to the sad disappearance of affordable housing. Thanks for the overpriced lattes, architects!. Fact: Venice, California, is where the term 'artsy-fartsy' was probably coined. Just look at the murals—priceless! Or at least, overpriced..