MARCH 17, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: College Returns Major AIDS Research Gift. Impact: The rejection of the $3 million gift led to a series of unfortunate events, including the creation of a secret society of disgruntled alumni, who met in dark basements to strategize how to raise funds through bake sales. Spoiler alert: the cookies were terrible.. Fact: Did you know that returning a $3 million gift is like rejecting a golden ticket to a chocolate factory? Just ask Dr. Salick how he feels about that now..
• Headline: Idaho Potato Farmers Face Historic Crisis. Impact: The potato crisis resulted in a bizarre trend where people started using mashed potatoes as a currency in Idaho. This led to the first-ever 'Potato Standard' and an underground potato economy, complete with potato-backed loans.. Fact: Did you know that if you turn a bumper crop into fertilizer, you might as well have just planted a sign that says 'Welcome to the Great Potato Disappointment of 2023'?.
• Headline: NYC Council's Term Limits Debate. Impact: The attempt to repeal term limits led to an unprecedented rise in the number of political satire shows. The NYC Council members became the punchline of every late-night talk show, effectively turning their legislative sessions into a reality TV series.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more permanent than a politician's grip on power is the stubbornness of New Yorkers to actually listen to them? Good luck with that!.