FEBRUARY 23, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring the World of Music. Impact: The rise of 'world music' led to a global dance-off where every culture tried to outdo each other, resulting in a new Olympic sport: synchronized cultural appropriation. Who knew that a Didgeridoo could spark a conga line in the streets of Paris?. Fact: Did you know that 'world music' is often just a fancy term for 'music we don’t understand but think sounds exotic'? It's like calling a fruit salad a 'culinary journey'.
• Headline: Quiet on the Lobbying Front; Sudden Halt to Coalition's Bid for Corporate Tax Breaks. Impact: When lobbying for corporate tax breaks hit a wall, it created a ripple effect that led corporations to innovate ways to hide profits, including the now-famous 'offshore treasure hunt'. Who would have thought pirates would be replaced by accountants?. Fact: Did you know that Charles E Walker's caution against tax cuts was the most exciting thing to happen to lobbyists since they discovered that coffee stains can be removed with a mix of shame and denial?.
• Headline: ABN AMRO'S PROFIT FALLS. Impact: ABN Amro's profit fall and subsequent job cuts resulted in a new trend of banks trying to outdo each other in downsizing, leading to a 'Jobless Bankers' charity run. Because nothing says 'we care' like jogging for a cause you created. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'too big to fail' was redefined after this event, as it became clear that banks are also 'too small to care' when it comes to their employees' livelihoods.