JANUARY 5, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Palestinians Challenge Israelis for Peace Talks. Impact: If the Palestinians had just sent a strongly worded email instead of a dare, we might have avoided decades of back-and-forth negotiations that make high school drama look like a calm tea party.. Fact: Daring someone to negotiate is like daring a cat to take a bath. Spoiler: it usually ends in chaos..
• Headline: Air Quality Improvements in Mexico City. Impact: The air quality in Mexico City improved just enough for people to realize that the sky is not, in fact, a permanent shade of gray; this inspired a world-wide trend of investing in air purifiers—because who doesn't want to breathe clean air while scrolling through social media?. Fact: In 1992, Mexico City's air was so bad that it was basically a toxic soup. At least now they can breathe in the sweet scent of slightly less smog..
• Headline: U.S. Urged to Ratify Test-Ban Treaty. Impact: If the U.S. had ratified the test-ban treaty sooner, scientists might have been forced to come up with more creative methods of testing things—like using a rubber chicken instead of a nuclear bomb, which might have made science class a lot more fun.. Fact: The irony of needing a general to tell politicians to stop testing bombs is rich—next, we'll have an astronaut recommending we stop sending people to space..
• Headline: One Strom Thurmond Helps Out Another. Impact: When one Strom Thurmond helps another, it sets off a chain reaction in nepotism that makes everyone wonder why they didn't just name the entire state of South Carolina 'Thurmondville'.. Fact: Political dynasties are like family reunions—everyone's related, and the debate about who gets the last piece of pie can get intense..