JANUARY 3, 2001

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hillary Clinton's Controversial Home Purchase. Impact: If only Hillary had chosen a more modest abode, perhaps the entire trend of extravagant political spending would have been nipped in the bud. Instead, now we have politicians who think a mansion is a necessity, leading to the rise of 'political real estate agents' specializing in overpriced homes.. Fact: Did you know that buying a $2 million home is just a rite of passage for politicians? It’s like their version of a mid-life crisis, only instead of a sports car, it's a mansion..
• Headline: Pataki Proposes Crackdown on Illegal Guns. Impact: Pataki’s campaign against illegal gun trafficking might have inadvertently set the stage for an entire genre of action movies featuring rogue cops battling against the odds. You can almost hear the dramatic music in the background.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'illegal gun trafficking' has been used so many times it's practically a buzzword at political parties, just like 'free pizza' at college gatherings..
• Headline: Mitigating Workplace Injury Through Innovation. Impact: The battle against job-related aches and pains might have sparked the future wellness industry, leading to absurd trends like 'office yoga' and 'nap pods' that make you wonder if work is a place or just a series of unfortunate events.. Fact: Did you know that repetitive strain injuries were so common that they inspired the phrase 'My job is killing me'? Thankfully, that’s just figurative… for now..