NOVEMBER 18, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rodriguez's Impact on Mets Negotiations. Impact: Had Rodriguez signed with the Mets, we could have witnessed an alternate universe where the Mets became the Yankees, and New York turned into a baseball monarchy ruled by Rodriguez and his ever-growing ego. Imagine a world where Mets fans had to wear crowns instead of caps!. Fact: Did you know that Alex Rodriguez once claimed to have invented the concept of hitting a baseball? I mean, he certainly made it seem that way with his ego!.
• Headline: Espada Jr. Acquitted of Larceny Charges. Impact: Espada’s acquittal led to a series of questionable politicians feeling emboldened, creating a ripple effect that would ultimately result in a reality TV star becoming president. Who knew a little larceny could lead to such greatness?. Fact: Did you know that in politics, 'acquitted' is just a fancy way of saying, 'I probably did it, but no one can prove it'?.
• Headline: Giuliani's Comeback Amid Controversies. Impact: Giuliani's return to form marked the beginning of his transformation from a mayor into a media personality, paving the way for future politicians to think they could just yell at reporters and be considered 'charismatic.' Thanks, Rudy, for lowering the bar!. Fact: Did you know that Giuliani once claimed he could single-handedly bring down crime by just telling people to stop? It’s amazing what a little confidence can do!.
• Headline: Relic of a Faded Playgound Meets the Wrecking Ball. Impact: The demolition of the Thunderbolt roller coaster sent shockwaves through the amusement park community, leading to a rise in nostalgia-themed roller coasters that are now ironically safer but way less fun. Thanks for ruining the thrill, city inspectors!. Fact: Did you know that Coney Island is also the place where dreams go to die? Just ask the Thunderbolt!.
• Headline: Seles Beats Coetzer Easily, But That Really Isn't the Point. Impact: Seles’ victory was just one of many that contributed to her legend, which later inspired a whole generation of players who, instead of smashing rackets, just smashed the competition. It’s the butterfly effect of racket sports!. Fact: Did you know that Monica Seles once stabbed a competitor with her intense stare? Okay, that didn't actually happen, but wouldn't it be dramatic?.