NOVEMBER 15, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Accounting Firms Face Conflict of Interest Rules. Impact: This agreement led to a sudden uptick in accounting firms suddenly realizing they might need to actually focus on, you know, accounting, instead of moonlighting as business consultants. Who would have thought? This ultimately resulted in less shady dealings... at least until the next financial crisis.. Fact: Did you know that consulting work is just code for 'we'll tell you what you want to hear'? It's basically the corporate equivalent of a magic 8-ball..
• Headline: Embraer Sees Profits Surge in Q3. Impact: Embraer's doubling of profits led to a surge in jet-setting executives thinking they could fly anywhere without consequences. This eventually contributed to a rise in overpriced avocado toast served at airport lounges. Thanks, Embraer.. Fact: If you think Embraer’s profits doubled, just wait until you see how much your airline ticket will cost after all those extra features they’ll add to make your flight experience 'delightful'..
• Headline: DEMOCRATS WANT SHARE OF SENATE. Impact: This demand for equal representation in the Senate led to a never-ending cycle of political gridlock, proving once again that asking nicely for equal treatment is often met with a resounding 'not today'.. Fact: Did you know that if you yell 'filibuster' in a crowded room, half the people will start discussing their favorite pizza toppings? Politics and pizza: America’s favorite distraction..
• Headline: JUDGE UPHOLDS HAND RECOUNTS IN FLORIDA; 2 COUNTIES ARE FACING NEW STATE DEADLINE. Impact: The judge's ruling on hand recounts ensured that Florida would forever be known as the state where counting to ten took several weeks and a whole lot of coffee. Future elections would forever be haunted by the phrase 'hanging chads'.. Fact: Fun fact: The state of Florida has more rules about recounts than it does about alligators in swimming pools. Which, ironically, is something you might want to keep in mind during voting season!.