OCTOBER 31, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Europe's Travel Boom Fueled by Strong Dollar. Impact: As American tourists flocked to Europe for their 'bargain' vacations, they inadvertently ignited an obsession with overpriced souvenirs that still haunts us today. Thanks to them, we now have a thriving market for tiny Eiffel Towers that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that the dollar's rise made Europeans think they were living in a discount store? Too bad they forgot to check the price tags on their own cost of living!.
• Headline: Reykjavik's Thriving Rock Music Scene. Impact: Reykjavik's sudden rise in the rock scene triggered a chain reaction, leading to a global 'Icelandic music' craze. Eventually, people began naming their cats after obscure Icelandic bands, which remains a source of endless confusion at the vet.. Fact: Fun fact: Reykjavik has a population smaller than many college campuses, proving that great music can thrive even in the most 'intimate' settings, like a basement party with three people and a cat..
• Headline: Closer Look at Asteroid Eros. Impact: The close encounter with asteroid Eros sparked a frenzy of space enthusiasts who, in their excitement, began naming their pets after celestial bodies. This led to some serious identity crises among the pets, especially 'Pluto.'. Fact: Did you know that Eros is not just a name but also the Greek god of love? So, if you ever feel alone, just remember there’s a rock in space named after a deity of affection—talk about cosmic irony!.
• Headline: Ship Attack Suspects Seemed Out of Place. Impact: The bombing of the USS Cole became a pivotal moment in U.S. foreign policy, leading to a series of increasingly complex international relations that have left historians scratching their heads for decades. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Tragically, this incident reminded us that neighbors sometimes know more than they let on. Next time you see a suspicious-looking stranger, maybe just give them a friendly wave instead of calling the FBI..
• Headline: ABITIBI EARNINGS UP. Impact: Abitibi-Consolidated's earnings surge led to a flurry of excitement in the stock market, ultimately resulting in the creation of a bizarre cult of corporate worshippers who believed profits could bring them eternal happiness.. Fact: Did you know that 118 million Canadian dollars is just about enough to fund a small country? Or, you know, just keep a corporate executive well-stocked with artisanal coffee and fancy pens for a year..