OCTOBER 6, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Leaders Call for Violence De-escalation. Impact: If only Barak and Arafat had decided to order a pizza instead, the history of Middle Eastern diplomacy could have been drastically different. Imagine a world where diplomatic discussions revolved around toppings instead of territorial disputes!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'pulling back' was originally coined in 1995 to describe the behavior of introverts at parties? Just kidding, it was obviously about military maneuvers..
• Headline: Sojo's Stellar Play Fuels Yankees Victory. Impact: Luis Sojo's stellar performance could be seen as the turning point for all future Yankees players, leading to a generation of athletes who think they can win games with just a smile and a bat. Spoiler alert: it’s not that easy!. Fact: Did you know that Luis Sojo once tried to argue that wearing mismatched socks would improve his batting average? Surprisingly, no one took him seriously..
• Headline: Germany's Unemployment Reaches Historic Low. Impact: Germany's unemployment dropping to a five-year low may have inadvertently inspired other countries to actually try hard at their economies. Who would have thought good news could be contagious?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing lower than Germany's unemployment rate was the likelihood of anyone asking you about their economic policies at a party? Spoiler: it’s zero..
• Headline: G.O.P. Buys Ad for Lazio, Despite Pact On Financing. Impact: The GOP's decision to buy an ad for Lazio despite a financing pact was the beginning of a slippery slope that has led to the modern-day political commercial: where integrity goes to die, and catchy jingles reign supreme!. Fact: Did you know that political ads are like fast food? They promise a lot, but leave you feeling empty and slightly nauseous after consumption..