SEPTEMBER 27, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nassau County's Bureaucratic Challenges Unfold. Impact: The bureaucratic weed whacking in Nassau led to a chain reaction where local governments everywhere decided to take up gardening, inadvertently creating a massive interest in landscaping. This ultimately resulted in the rise of reality TV shows about home improvement, which have had a lasting impact on American culture. Thanks, Nassau!. Fact: Did you know that Nassau County's bureaucracy could probably rival the size of a small country? Just imagine the passport lines!.
• Headline: Microsoft Wins Key Antitrust Appeal Tactic. Impact: By allowing Microsoft to breathe easy, the Supreme Court inadvertently set the stage for tech monopolies to dominate the market. This paved the way for future billionaires to not only buy their way into the hearts of the public but also their data. You're welcome, Facebook!. Fact: Fun fact: Microsoft’s success led to a shocking revelation—people actually enjoy using software that doesn't crash every five minutes. Who knew?.
• Headline: Punching Around-the-Clock Time Clocks. Impact: The rise of electronic tracking spurred a new wave of employee surveillance, leading to the yoga pants revolution where employees pretended to be on a 'wellness break' while actually just browsing online shopping sites. Namaste indeed!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'time is money' has now morphed to 'time is being tracked by your employer'? Thanks for the reminder, technology!.
• Headline: When a Career Isn't Paramount. Impact: This column on the unpredictability of life led to an epidemic of spontaneous career changes. People began abandoning their 9-to-5s for a life of van-dwelling and artisanal soap making, which ultimately created a surplus of organic lavender soap in the market.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more unpredictable than a career path is trying to predict if your artisanal soap will actually sell at the farmer's market!.