SEPTEMBER 5, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mets Fall to Reds in September Clash. Impact: The Mets' continued struggles in September led to a series of fan curses that eventually resulted in an underground ritual involving a goat, a baseball, and a lot of regrettable social media posts. Who knew the fate of a baseball franchise could hinge on a few bad pitches?. Fact: Did you know that the Mets have a better chance of winning the lottery than winning a World Series? Just kidding, but it feels that way sometimes!.
• Headline: Intense Fall Campaigns Grab Congressional Attention. Impact: The pressure on Capitol Hill led to an unprecedented series of political memes, causing future generations to believe that governance is merely a humorous endeavor. Who knew tax cuts could inspire such creativity?. Fact: Did you know that if Congress spent as much time working as they do on their social media presence, we might actually have functional government? Just a thought!.
• Headline: Sports of The Times; Hingis Leads By Example In Anonymity. Impact: Martina Hingis's anonymous success inspired a generation of athletes to start wearing disguises during competitions, leading to a bizarre era where tennis matches included a lot of caped crusaders. Tennis or superhero showdown? You decide!. Fact: Did you know that Hingis was once ranked number one in the world? It’s hard to believe anyone could be that good without a cape!.
• Headline: Seven Days, Six Nights, One Author; If You Liked the Book, You'll Love the Tour Guide. Impact: The rise of author-led travel vacations led to an unexpected spike in books being written on the art of packing, culminating in the creation of an entire genre dedicated to luggage. Who knew the literary world would be so heavy?. Fact: Did you know that 95% of self-help authors recommend packing light? Ironically, their books are usually quite the opposite!.