AUGUST 27, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stretch Revolution: J. Crew Embraces Lycra. Impact: Had J. Crew not embraced Lycra, we might have all been stuck in uncomfortable cotton for eternity, leading to an increase in public dissatisfaction with fashion, possibly sparking a revolution of comfy pants and slippers.. Fact: Did you know that Lycra was originally developed for women’s underwear? So, thanks to a stretchy fabric, we can now enjoy the visual horror of men in tight clothing. You're welcome!.
• Headline: Luxury SUVs for Elite Athletes. Impact: The rise of supersized S.U.V.s led to the invention of ever-larger parking spaces, which in turn inspired the creation of new neighborhoods exclusively for oversized vehicles. Roads? Who needs roads when you have oversized driveways?. Fact: Fun fact: The average S.U.V. now requires a dedicated gym membership just to lift itself off the ground. It's like a personal trainer but for your car!.
• Headline: Historic US-Vietnam Trade Pact Unveiled. Impact: The trade pact's ripple effects could be felt for decades, leading to an influx of Vietnamese products, causing American consumers to abandon their traditional goods. The butterfly effect? Becoming addicted to Vietnamese street food and forgetting what a hot dog tastes like.. Fact: Did you know that the US embargo against Vietnam lasted longer than some celebrity marriages? Talk about commitment issues!.
• Headline: What's Black And White And Sells Medicine?. Impact: Pfizer's clever marketing strategy with Max the zebra not only skyrocketed Zithromax sales but also opened the floodgates for pharmaceutical mascots. We can thank them for the next generation of anthropomorphic pill bottles promising to cure your blues.. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever feel down, just remember that a zebra can sell you antibiotics. Because nothing says trust like a cartoon animal in a lab coat!.