AUGUST 23, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Knicks Seek Trade Options for Ewing. Impact: If Patrick Ewing had been traded to Seattle, the coffee-loving city might have become the epicenter of basketball, leading to a bizarre future where everyone's morning brew included a side of slam dunks. Instead, the Knicks remained in mediocrity, and Seattle fans just had to settle for rain and fish markets.. Fact: Did you know that Patrick Ewing was once the subject of a popular video game called 'Ewing's Revenge'? Spoiler alert: the only thing he couldn't escape was the fate of the Knicks..
• Headline: Mets Loss with Bell on the Mound. Impact: The Mets' decision to let Derek Bell pitch could have revolutionized baseball by encouraging teams to recruit players for versatility, leading to a future where every player might just pitch, catch, and maybe play the trombone on off days. Who needs specialized skills, right?. Fact: Fun fact: Derek Bell was actually a decent outfielder, but when your team is losing 16-1, why not let the guy throw a few pitches? Nothing says 'team spirit' like conceding defeat with flair..
• Headline: Nursing Shortage: A Looming Crisis. Impact: This study predicted a nursing shortage that would eventually lead to hospitals hiring robots to care for patients, resulting in a future where your nurse might be a friendly AI. If only the robots could also figure out how to get you a bedpan without needing a coffee break.. Fact: Did you know that nursing is one of the most trusted professions? Too bad that trust didn't extend to the foresight of the healthcare system, which clearly didn't see this shortage coming until it was too late. Surprise!.