AUGUST 2, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ewing Rumor Mill Shifts Focus to Thomas. Impact: If only Layden had chosen to work a different shift, the Knicks might have traded Ewing and we could have seen an alternate universe where the New York Knicks actually won a championship. But no, instead we got 20 years of mediocrity. Thanks, Layden!. Fact: Kurt Thomas was not only known for his basketball skills but also for his remarkable ability to dodge trade rumors like they were defenders on the court..
• Headline: McCain Backs Bush at RNC. Impact: McCain praising Bush at the RNC was the butterfly that flapped its wings and somehow led to the entire country being split into two camps: those who love bacon and those who love kale. Thanks, politics!. Fact: This speech was so impactful that it made people consider turning off their TVs for good. Spoiler alert: They didn’t..
• Headline: Stanley Kunitz: A New Era in Poetry. Impact: Kunitz taking the poet laureate role means that every future poet will have to either live up to his legacy or start writing haikus about avocado toast. No pressure!. Fact: Stanley Kunitz was 95 years old when he became Poet Laureate. So, really, he just needed a solid nap and some tea to get through the gig..
• Headline: Not Your Mother's Mayonnaise: A Great French Sauce for Summer. Impact: The rise of homemade mayonnaise was the spark that ignited the artisan food movement, leading to the current era of overpriced toast and people arguing about the best way to poach an egg in artisanal cafes.. Fact: Homemade mayonnaise is a great way to impress guests, or at least make them wonder why they didn't just order takeout instead..