JULY 18, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trials and Triumphs: Olympic Track Preview. Impact: The Olympic trials kick-off could be the butterfly that flaps its wings and results in future athletes training in bizarre conditions, like running on treadmills while eating pizza. Thanks to these trials, we might see a new sport: competitive couch surfing.. Fact: Did you know that Olympic athletes, in their quest for gold, have been known to train in extreme conditions? So if you ever wonder why your favorite athlete looks like they just came from a sauna, now you know!.
• Headline: Issue of Abortion Scrambles Selection by Bush of a No. 2. Impact: Bush's consideration of a pro-choice vice presidential candidate could have created a world where bipartisan cooperation is actually a thing. Imagine a universe where politicians focus on common ground instead of just common grudges. What a fantasy!. Fact: In a twist of irony, the selection of a vice president can sometimes be more about appeasing factions within a party than actual governance. Who would've thought politics could be so… political?.
• Headline: Political Memo; An Accusation Mrs. Clinton Deems Too Crucial to Ignore. Impact: Hillary's supposed anti-Semitic slur could ripple through history, creating a timeline where every politician has to watch their words like a hawk, or risk being judged by the ghost of political correctness past. Someone get the Ouija board ready!. Fact: Political accusations often age like fine wine—sometimes they get better, but more often they just stink up the room. Also, the truth is usually buried under layers of 'he said, she said.'.