APRIL 28, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revolutionary Tech in Minivan Design. Impact: The creation of a minivan that can do your laundry might have led to a future where humans no longer leave their homes. In fact, in 2045, the majority of the population is believed to be living inside their vehicles, snacking on microwave popcorn, and binge-watching shows while their laundry washes itself.. Fact: Did you know that mini-washers are basically the original influencers? They just couldn't get a decent Instagram following..
• Headline: Prices Spurt 3.2% As Economy Posts Another Big Gain. Impact: The economic gains coupled with rising prices led to the invention of the phrase 'living paycheck to paycheck,' which has since become a universal anthem for the financially challenged. Who knew inflation could inspire such creativity?. Fact: Did you know that the economy's ups and downs are like a rollercoaster? Except this one doesn't have a safety bar and you forgot to buckle your seatbelt..
• Headline: A Glimpse Of Giuliani, Man of Grace. Impact: Giuliani's stoicism in the face of cancer might have inspired future leaders to adopt a 'grace under pressure' mantra, leading to a world where everyone just smiles through their problems, including the impending doom of climate change. Thanks for the pep talk, Rudy!. Fact: Did you know that 'grace under pressure' is actually the motto for many politicians? Too bad it doesn't come with an instruction manual..