APRIL 26, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Florio Faces Challenges in Senate Race. Impact: Florio’s shrinking lead led to a series of awkward handshakes and uncomfortable dinners among northern New Jersey Democrats—eventually resulting in a secret society of awkward politicians who only meet in dark corners of diners.. Fact: It’s amazing how many political careers can hinge on a single breakfast meeting. Who knew brunch could be so powerful?.
• Headline: Brendel's Illuminating Carnegie Hall Recital. Impact: Brendel's recital sparked a worldwide obsession with classical music, leading to an unexpected surge in hipster cafes featuring barley water and Beethoven. Who knew a piano could cause a fashion trend?. Fact: Pianists have been known to mellow even the most hardened rock fans. Just don’t ask them to play 'Chopsticks' at your wedding..
• Headline: Empowering Women in the Workplace. Impact: ‘Take Your Feminism to Work Day’ inadvertently led to the establishment of ‘Take Your Cat to Work Day,’ creating a chaotic but adorable office environment where productivity took a nose dive.. Fact: The only thing more distracting than a cat in the office is a cat with a tiny briefcase. Seriously, what are they working on?.
• Headline: Houston and His Defense Can Still Be Distant. Impact: Houston’s playoff performance was so pivotal that it inspired an entire generation of kids to believe they could achieve greatness—unless they tried to play basketball like him, in which case, good luck!. Fact: Basketball players often get mistaken for tall models. Unfortunately, Houston’s modeling career never took off—too many rebounds..
• Headline: Where the Biscuits Meet the Gravy. Impact: The Hominy Grill’s profile caused a culinary revolution where Southern breakfasts became the new brunch trend everywhere, culminating in a bizarre festival dedicated to biscuits that somehow ended in a biscuit wrestling match.. Fact: If you can’t handle the gravy, you probably shouldn’t be in the kitchen. Just saying..