APRIL 22, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Camby on Raptors' Physical Playstyle. Impact: If Camby hadn’t called out the Raptors, they might have taken up knitting instead of basketball. Who knows? We could have seen a world where the biggest rivalry was between knitting circles instead of hoops!. Fact: Did you know that the Raptors' mascot, The Raptor, once attempted to dunk a basketball while riding a unicycle? Spoiler alert: it didn't end well..
• Headline: Efforts to Reunite Elian Gonzalez and Father. Impact: The return of Elian Gonzalez sparked a series of debates on immigration laws that might have led to more stringent policies. So, in a way, this little boy's life was a massive domino affecting countless future immigrants and their legal battles.. Fact: Fun fact: Elian's saga was so dramatic that it could have been a soap opera. Tune in next week for the thrilling cliffhanger: 'Will Elian choose his father or the Miami relatives who taught him to eat ice cream for breakfast?'.
• Headline: The Pragmatism of George W. Bush. Impact: George W. Bush's cozy relationship with nontraditional constituencies may have been the first step towards a future where everyone thinks bipartisan cooperation is a good idea. Spoiler: it’s not. Just look at Congress!. Fact: Did you know that 'Grand Old Pragmatists' was almost the title of a country music band? Their first single was 'Compromise is Key,' which, funnily enough, didn’t quite hit the charts..
• Headline: For Beleaguered Officers Now on Livery-Cab Duty, Gratitude. Impact: The police task force for livery cab drivers could have been the inception of a superhero team. If only they had capes and a theme song, we might have witnessed the rise of 'The Livery League' combating crime one cab at a time!. Fact: Did you know that Brooklyn livery cab drivers once held an unofficial championship for the 'Fastest Fare'? The winner claimed they could outrun an ambulance. Spoiler: they couldn't..
• Headline: RUINED EAST TIMOR AWAITS A MIRACLE. Impact: The devastation in East Timor led to international attention that ultimately resulted in a new country. It’s ironic that sometimes it takes utter chaos for the world to finally notice and act. Thanks for that, humanity!. Fact: Did you know that the East Timor struggle was so intense that they almost made a reality show about it called 'Survivor: Nation Edition'? The producers decided it was a bit too real for TV..