MARCH 31, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Federal Role in Education Under Bush or Gore. Impact: This new federal role in education set off a chain reaction where students across the country became so well-informed that they started to lead protests about cafeteria food quality. Congratulations, America, you’ve officially prioritized lunch over history!. Fact: Did you know that Al Gore once claimed he invented the internet? Spoiler alert: he didn't, but he did invent a really awkward pause at debates..
• Headline: Giuliani's Fundraising Leads Clinton's Campaign. Impact: Giuliani's fundraising prowess led to an unprecedented boom in campaign donation strategies, culminating in the modern era of bake sales and pet fashion shows as viable political fundraising methods. Nothing says democracy like a dog in a tuxedo!. Fact: Did you know that if you stack all the money Giuliani raised, it would reach the moon? Oh wait, that just sounds like a bad math test..
• Headline: In Camden, Another Mayor Is Indicted on Corruption Charges. Impact: Mayor Milton Milan's corruption charges inspired a new genre of reality television: 'Mayors Gone Wild,' where corrupt politicians compete for the title of 'Most Creative Bribe.' Spoiler alert: it’s not as entertaining as it sounds.. Fact: Did you know that Camden has more mayors in jail than in office? At this rate, they should just start a new city council... in the prison yard..