MARCH 2, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sol Lewitt's Wall Drawings Revolutionized Art. Impact: If only people had been more careful with walls, we might have avoided the Great Wall Crisis of 2025, where an accidental graffiti incident led to international tensions over artistic expression.. Fact: Sol Lewitt's wall drawings are so detailed that even an IKEA assembly manual looks like a haiku in comparison..
• Headline: U.S. Pushes for Tougher Money Laundering Laws. Impact: This money laundering fiasco led to a series of overly complicated laws that made tax filing resemble a game of Twister—left foot on IRS form, right hand on loophole.. Fact: The phrase 'money laundering' originated when someone tried to clean dirty cash in a washing machine, but it just got stuck. True story..
• Headline: Henrietta Dax: Book Peddler of Southern Africa. Impact: Henrietta's book travels inspired a new generation of hipsters to trade organic kale for vintage novels, resulting in a kale shortage and a renaissance of literature in the produce aisle.. Fact: Henrietta Dax could probably barter her way into a Nobel Prize if she had the right books; too bad they don’t accept novels as currency!.
• Headline: Oil, Politics And a Blacklist. Impact: Azerbaijan's attempts to end the ban led to a decade-long diplomatic game of 'hot potato,' where no one wanted to be the one caught holding the aid bag.. Fact: Being on the U.S. government blacklist is kind of like being voted off 'Survivor'—you just can’t vote yourself back in, no matter how many challenges you win..
• Headline: Israeli Bill May Hobble Barak Efforts With Syria. Impact: Barak's struggles with this bill paved the way for a long series of 'peace talks' that featured more drama than a daytime soap opera, complete with cliffhangers.. Fact: Israeli politics is basically the world's longest-running reality show, where every season ends in a shocking twist and no one ever gets voted off..