FEBRUARY 12, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Islanders Fans: Loyalty Amid Decline. Impact: If only the Islanders' fans had known that their loyalty would later inspire a reality TV show about sad sports fans, perhaps they would have started a cult instead. Alas, the ripple of low attendance resonated into a world where your love for a team could become a reality show gimmick.. Fact: Did you know that the Islanders' fan loyalty could fill a library? Too bad it's just filled with sad sports-themed self-help books now..
• Headline: Census Reflects America's Racial Diversity. Impact: The decision to allow more racial categories on the census led to a butterfly effect of people inventing new identities, ultimately resulting in a future where everyone identifies as a 'Part-Time Unicorn' or a 'Full-Time Avocado Toast.' Thank you, 21st century!. Fact: Did you know that this census change was about as effective as asking cats if they want to go to the vet? Spoiler alert: no one wants to be just one race!.
• Headline: BRITAIN SUSPENDS SELF-GOVERNMENT IN NORTH IRELAND. Impact: The suspension of self-government in Northern Ireland became the catalyst for a series of political dramas that would make even the most intense soap opera look like a children's show. Who knew that power struggles could also lead to some pretty intense brunch discussions?. Fact: Did you know that this event was like hitting the reset button on a broken video game? Spoiler alert: sometimes, it just glitches out worse!.