JANUARY 8, 2000

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rocker Takes Immediate Action for Testing. Impact: This rocker undergoing testing immediately sparked a chain reaction of musicians suddenly realizing that their lifestyle choices might have consequences. Who knew that drinking vodka from the bottle wouldn’t help your vocal cords?. Fact: Rock stars and health checks: a tale as old as time. Spoiler alert: they usually prefer the 'rock and roll' lifestyle over health insurance!.
• Headline: Strong Job Growth Surprises Economists. Impact: This unexpected job growth led to a nationwide shortage of 'We’re Hiring' signs, and ironically, an increase in therapy sessions for the newly employed who suddenly realized they had to work for a living.. Fact: In 1999, the only thing more inflated than the job numbers was the number of 'motivational' posters in corporate offices. Remember those?.
• Headline: 2 Funds With Higher Limits Mean Extra Cash for Giuliani. Impact: Giuliani’s extra cash led to the birth of political fundraising tactics that resemble a high-stakes game of Monopoly—only with less charm and more backroom deals. Who knew that money could buy you a Senate seat?. Fact: Political committees raising millions is the adult version of kids trading Pokémon cards—except the stakes are a bit higher and the cards are worth much more..
• Headline: Sports of The Times; Jets' Debacle Is Not Above Suspicion. Impact: The suspicion surrounding the Jets' debacle set off a chain reaction of conspiracy theories, leading to a world where every sports fan suddenly took on the role of detective, analyzing every play as if it were a crime scene.. Fact: Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick's relationship could be compared to that of a soap opera couple—full of drama, betrayal, and the occasional reunion tour. Tune in next season!.