DECEMBER 14, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Galaxies' Size and Mass Revelation. Impact: The realization that galaxies are twice as large means that, in some alternate timeline, we are now living under the shadow of twice as many alien overlords, making our current problems seem almost cute in comparison.. Fact: Did you know that if you squish all the galaxies together, you'd still have less drama than a high school reunion?.
• Headline: Volpe Sentenced for Louima Assault. Impact: The sentencing of Justin Volpe for the brutalization of Abner Louima sent shockwaves through police departments, leading to the creation of countless 'don't be a jerk' workshops that have proven to be about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'heinous' was officially upgraded to 'super-duper heinous' shortly after this case, in an attempt to better capture the gravity of such actions..
• Headline: Taco Trends in New York City. Impact: The taco craze in New York sparked an entire culinary revolution, leading to taco trucks becoming the new therapy for urban dwellers, who now believe that a good burrito can solve all of life's problems—or at least distract them from them for a bit.. Fact: Did you know that New Yorkers were initially resistant to tacos because they thought it was just a fancy term for a sandwich? Yeah, we really thought we were *that* special..
• Headline: Furs for Evening, But Cloth Was The Stone Age Standby. Impact: The discovery that Paleolithic women were economically powerful and stylish has led to a modern-day fashion revival, where women now wear furs while negotiating their salaries, proving that history indeed loves a good comeback.. Fact: Fun fact: Those 'Venus' figurines are considered the original influencers—prior to Instagram, they were busy shaping beauty standards with just a few stones and a whole lot of artistic flair..