OCTOBER 23, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lois Chapter 11: A Sign of Change. Impact: Lois Chapter 11's bankruptcy set off a chain reaction in the advertising world, leading to the rise of influencers and the decline of actual advertising. Because who needs professionals when you can just pay a cat in sunglasses to promote your product?. Fact: Did you know that in a world where advertising agencies used to thrive, there were actual people who thought a billboard was a good investment? Now we just throw money at TikTok dances..
• Headline: Khalkali's Shift: From Judge to Reformer. Impact: The former hanging judge's shift to reformer could be seen as the universe's way of balancing the scales of justice, proving that even the worst of us can have a change of heart. Or maybe he just got tired of all the paperwork.. Fact: Did you know that Ayatollah Sadegh Khalkali was once so feared that his name alone could make people reconsider their life choices? Now he just wants to be on the right side of history—good luck with that!.
• Headline: Appeals Court Bars Klan Masks; Group Still Plans to Stage Rally. Impact: The appeals court's decision to bar Klan masks was a small but vital step towards accountability and transparency, reminding us that hiding behind a mask isn't just for Halloween. Who knew the court could actually do something productive?. Fact: Fun fact: Klan rallies have always been about community—if your community is made up of people who can’t even show their faces in public!.