AUGUST 7, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ozzie Newsome: Hall of Fame and Beyond. Impact: Ozzie Newsome's induction into the Hall of Fame was the butterfly that flapped its wings, ultimately leading to the creation of a new sport: competitive Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. The world now watches intently as athletes awkwardly thank their mothers and cry on stage.. Fact: Did you know that Ozzie Newsome once attempted to teach a class on humility, but the entire session turned into a discussion on how to properly accept accolades? Guess some lessons are just too hard to learn!.
• Headline: The Impact of Bone-Dry Summers. Impact: The bone-dry summer led to a national shortage of moisture, which in turn triggered a secret society of plants that began plotting their revenge on humanity. Now, every time you water a houseplant, it’s secretly plotting your downfall.. Fact: Did you know that people in bone-dry summers have been known to develop extreme hydration paranoia? Yes, they can identify a water bottle from a mile away!.
• Headline: For Dotel, 10 Strikeouts Were Worth the Long Wait. Impact: Dotel's ten strikeouts led to the revival of the 'strikeout celebration dance', which eventually became a viral TikTok trend. Now every time someone strikes out in a game, fans are more likely to dance than boo.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of baseball, 10 strikeouts is a big deal, but you still can't use them as a valid excuse for missing your anniversary? Just ask any husband!.