JULY 27, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Philip Morris Lobbies New York Legislators. Impact: If Philip Morris hadn’t buttered up those lawmakers, we might have seen a world where cigarettes became as socially acceptable as kale smoothies. Who knows? Maybe they'd even have a health food aisle for 'organic tobacco.'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more addictive than cigarettes is the free lunch at a lobbying event?.
• Headline: EPA Proposes Congress Drop MTBE Requirement. Impact: By suggesting the removal of MTBE, the EPA might have inadvertently set off a chain reaction leading to the popularity of electric cars—because nothing screams 'clean energy' like a gasoline concoction that poisons the water supply!. Fact: Fun fact: MTBE was basically the gasoline industry's attempt at being 'green'—like a wolf wearing sheep's clothing.
• Headline: Kassirer's Resignation Shakes Medical Publishing. Impact: Dr. Kassir’s resignation may have been the tipping point that led to the rise of clickbait medical articles, making it possible for you to diagnose yourself with a rare disease just by scrolling through your Facebook feed. Fact: Did you know that journalism's integrity is often sacrificed at the altar of marketing? Welcome to the real world!.
• Headline: Next Stage of the Cellular Tour; Forced to Compete, Japan Becomes a Global Power. Impact: By opening up its cellular market, Japan not only became a tech titan, but it also unintentionally set the stage for a future where we all have smartphones glued to our hands—thank you, competitive spirit!. Fact: Did you know that Japan's cellular market boom was fueled by the same pressure cooker that brought us sushi burritos? Talk about an evolution!.
• Headline: Concerns in New York Area About Effects of Fuel Additive. Impact: The ongoing concerns about MTBE may have led to a national obsession with organic everything—because who wouldn’t want to avoid turning into a walking cocktail of gasoline and bad decisions?. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever wondered why New Yorkers are so 'well-done'—just blame it on the gas additive in their beloved pizza!.
• Headline: Business Units Fail to Gain More Money. Impact: The Giuliani administration’s budget cuts may have sparked a trend in city governance where ‘tightening belts’ became code for ‘let’s see how many services we can eliminate before the public notices.’. Fact: Did you know that in political circles, 'rethink their role' is just a fancy way of saying 'we're cutting your funding'?.
• Headline: Ebay Earnings Fell 70% in Second Quarter. Impact: Ebay's plummet could be seen as the first domino in the eventual rise of online marketplaces where you can buy everything—including your neighbor's old cat—but only if you outbid 50 other people. Fact: Fun fact: Ebay's decline was just the universe’s way of telling us that sometimes, even digital auctions need a nap.
• Headline: Marguerite W. Cullman, 94, An Investor in Broadway Hits. Impact: Cullman's contributions to Broadway may have inspired generations of investors to back theatrical productions—because who wouldn’t want to lose money while watching people sing and dance?. Fact: Did you know that investing in Broadway is like playing the lottery, but with more jazz hands and fewer odds?.
• Headline: Woodstock Festival Faces a Bad Hangover; What Began With Peace, Love and Music Ends in Fire, Rampage and Loot. Impact: The chaos of Woodstock '99 might have created a cultural shift that led to the modern music festival's obsession with security—because nothing says ‘peace and love’ like a solid wall of burly bouncers. Fact: Did you know that 'peace, love, and music' is often followed by ‘but only if you pay the outrageous ticket price’?.