JULY 19, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cone's Legendary Perfect Game. Impact: David Cone's perfect game sparked a trend of every aspiring pitcher believing they too could achieve perfection, leading to an influx of yoga classes, meditation retreats, and an overall increase in the sale of 'Zen Master' merchandise.. Fact: Did you know that the perfect game is so rare that it makes a unicorn sighting seem like an everyday occurrence? Seriously, you’re more likely to find Bigfoot than witness this feat!.
• Headline: NASA Clears Columbia for Launch. Impact: The successful launch of the Columbia led to a spike in sci-fi movies, as everyone suddenly thought they could be astronauts. Little did they know, those dreams would lead to a generation of people clueless about gravity.. Fact: Did you know that NASA once had a cat as a 'mission specialist'? I guess the cat was much better at handling technical concerns than some of the humans..
• Headline: Michael Forbes: From Republican to Democrat. Impact: Michael Forbes switching parties created ripples that would eventually lead to a reality show where politicians must live together in a house, fighting over who gets the last slice of pizza. Spoiler: it’s always the interns.. Fact: Did you know that switching political parties is like changing your haircut? Some people will applaud you, others will just stare in confusion..
• Headline: M.I.T. and Harvard Give Boston a Niche. Impact: Boston's rise as a tech center led to a massive increase in coffee consumption, with students and professionals alike needing caffeine to power through late-night coding sessions. This resulted in the infamous 'Java Crisis of 2025.'. Fact: Did you know that MIT students are known for their caffeine-fueled all-nighters? It’s not uncommon to find them in lab coats and pajamas, passionately debating the merits of different coffee beans..
• Headline: Haze and Darkness Combined to Make Flight to Martha's Vineyard Risky, Pilots Say. Impact: The tragic flight of JFK Jr. highlighted the dangers of flying under poor conditions, leading to an uptick in people deciding that drone delivery was a much safer alternative. Thank you, technology!. Fact: Did you know that the NTSB investigates accidents like they’re solving a mystery? If only they could apply their skills to finding out who makes the best coffee in the office..
• Headline: McCain Renews Push for Debate On Campaign Finance Overhaul. Impact: McCain's push for campaign finance reform ultimately led to the birth of endless political podcasts, where every opinion is shared with the fervor of a teenager ranting about a breakup.. Fact: Did you know that discussing campaign finance is about as exciting as watching paint dry? But hey, at least it’s slightly more entertaining than actual campaign ads..
• Headline: Media Talk; Radio Station In Boston Drops Imus. Impact: Imus's decline paved the way for new voices in radio, leading to a renaissance of niche talk shows where people would discuss everything from knitting to conspiracy theories about why cats are secretly plotting against us.. Fact: Did you know that radio hosts are like modern-day philosophers? They get paid to talk and sometimes even make sense. It's the dream job for people who enjoy the sound of their own voice!.