JULY 1, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.N. Debates Population Control Plan. Impact: This population-limiting plan may have inadvertently led to the rise of 'desperate measures' in the future. By making it harder to control growth, people might just start adopting more cats instead. Welcome to the age of the cat overlords.. Fact: Did you know that if you limit population growth too much, you might end up with a world where the only people left are cat enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists? Oh wait, that's now..
• Headline: Barak's Diverse Coalition Government Formed. Impact: Barak's eclectic coalition could be seen as the precursor to future governments made up of rival factions, leading to the invention of the reality TV political debate format. Who knew that bickering could become entertainment?. Fact: Fun fact: When you mix seven different political parties, you get the same chaos as mixing all your leftover takeout in one container. Bon appétit!.
• Headline: Fed's Rate Hike Boosts Markets. Impact: The Fed's decision has caused a ripple effect that led to the creation of countless memes about stock market fluctuations. Who knew that a tiny rate increase could turn into an international comedy show?. Fact: Did you know that the Dow Jones Industrial Average once closed up by 155 points because investors were just super excited about a new flavor of ice cream? No? Well, that’s because it didn’t happen. But wouldn’t it be fun?.
• Headline: Ailing Foreigners Burden Emergency Rooms in U.S.. Impact: The influx of ailing foreigners into U.S. emergency rooms could be seen as the start of a trend where medical tourism becomes a popular vacation choice. Who doesn't want to combine beach time with a minor surgical procedure?. Fact: Did you know that in the U.S., it's a law that emergency rooms must treat everyone? So, if you ever feel under the weather while on vacation, just remember: free healthcare is just an ambulance ride away!.
• Headline: White House to Present $7.8 Billion Plan for Everglades. Impact: The $7.8 billion Everglades restoration plan might have sparked a future trend of 'nature therapy' retreats, where people go to touch grass and contemplate their life choices while surrounded by a swamp.. Fact: Did you know that the Everglades are often referred to as the 'River of Grass'? Because calling it the 'Swamp of Weird Mosquitoes' didn’t have the same ring to it..
• Headline: AT HOME WITH: Robert A. M. Stern; A Dean's Remodeling Job: Himself. Impact: The No. 7 subway line's new title as a historic trail might have unintentionally inspired future generations to consider every public transport line a potential tourist attraction. 'Welcome to the Historic Bus Route of 1952!'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more surprising than a subway line being named a historic trail is the fact that no one has ever thought to name a bus stop after a famous sandwich?.
• Headline: Some Hear a Screech, Others America's Story; For Aiding Immigration, No. 7 Line Is Named a Historic Trail. Who Knew?. Impact: The F.B.I.'s examination of burial sites in Kosovo may have set a precedent for how nations address their historical crimes, leading future governments to create ‘Truth and Reconciliation’ committees made up entirely of social media influencers.. Fact: Did you know that some of the most compelling stories come from examining the past? It’s like a real-life episode of a crime drama, minus the commercial breaks..
• Headline: Capital Buys Auto Lots. Impact: The call for patriotic relaxation suggests that future generations would forever associate national holidays with beach lounging, thus leading to a spike in hammock sales and a national crisis of too much leisure time.. Fact: Did you know that the more you relax, the more you realize you have no idea how to function in society? It's a real conundrum!.
• Headline: Time to Do Some Patriotic Relaxing.