APRIL 21, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Challenges in Professional Sports Today. Impact: This column ignited an underground movement where basketball fans began forming secret societies to overthrow bad ownership. Fast forward a few decades, and we have a world where fans hold more power than the actual owners, leading to the first-ever fan-owned NBA team, 'The People’s Dunkers'.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than bad sports is the sports commentary about bad sports? It's like watching a train wreck while someone narrates it in excruciating detail..
• Headline: Public Service Advertising Gains in 1998. Impact: The surge in public service advertising led to a bizarre trend where companies began donating ad space for the most mundane causes, like 'Save the Paperclips' campaigns. This ultimately created a whole new industry of nonprofit paperclip advocates.. Fact: Did you know that $2.1 billion in ad space could buy a lot of actual service instead of just ads for it? But hey, at least they’re being advertised!.
• Headline: Top Executive Becomes Consultant. Impact: Charles Taney’s leap into consulting opened the floodgates for executives to leave their companies and become consultants, causing a surge in 'expert advice' from people who just left their job because they were bored.. Fact: Did you know that becoming a consultant is just code for 'I want to get paid for giving unsolicited advice'? The real money is in charging for the privilege of hearing your opinions!.
• Headline: THE MARKETS: CURRENCIES. Impact: The dollar's rise against the yen sparked a bizarre trend where people started hoarding US dollars like they were rare Pokémon cards, leading to a currency collection craze that lasted for years.. Fact: Did you know that currency fluctuations are just the economy's way of playing 'hot potato' with your money? Spoiler: No one wins..
• Headline: President's Remarks on Shootings at Colorado School. Impact: The tragic events in Littleton led to significant reforms in school safety protocols across the nation, igniting a wave of discussions about mental health and school environments that are still ongoing.. Fact: Did you know that the response to school shootings has resulted in more conversations about safety than about actual education? Because nothing says 'learning environment' like a fortified classroom..
• Headline: Rustic Touch of Tuscany in the East Village. Impact: This restaurant review sparked a wave of hipster restaurants trying to outdo each other with increasingly obscure Italian dishes, eventually leading to the creation of 'artisanal spaghetti' that costs more than your rent.. Fact: Did you know that 'rustic' is just a fancy word for 'we forgot to decorate'? Now pass the overpriced breadsticks..
• Headline: People. Impact: Ruth Wooden’s transition to the National Parenting Association led to an influx of parenting advice that has since flooded the internet, resulting in a never-ending battle of the 'perfect parent' blogs and the rise of the 'mommy wars'.. Fact: Did you know that parenting advice is like diet advice? Everyone has an opinion, and no one knows what they’re talking about!.