JANUARY 27, 1999

Full News Archive

• Headline: Davis's Dark Vision for Los Angeles. Impact: Mike Davis's portrayal of Los Angeles as a dystopian paradise may have inspired countless writers to create their own visions of urban hellscapes. Thanks to him, the world now has a plethora of 'survival guides' for living in cities.. Fact: Davis's work is like a crystal ball for urban planning disasters. Poor LA—it's like a reality show that never gets canceled..
• Headline: G.O.P. Unity Gets Priority Over an Issue. Impact: This obsession with party unity over actual issues might have paved the way for future political theater, where decisions are made based on who can yell the loudest rather than what makes sense. Welcome to the circus, folks!. Fact: The Constitution: that old piece of paper everyone loves to quote but no one actually reads when it comes to making real decisions..
• Headline: Sports of The Times; To the Broncos: Your Table for 20 Is Ready. Impact: The Broncos dining out may have inadvertently inspired NFL teams to become culinary critics, leading to a food network dedicated solely to athletes' dining experiences. Who knew a winning season could hinge on the perfect steak?. Fact: The Denver Broncos were probably just there for the crab, not realizing they were about to be the stars of a food documentary..
• Headline: Tide Turns Again, and Parties Seek Agreement on Witnesses. Impact: The bipartisan push for witness agreements may have set the stage for future political negotiations to resemble a group therapy session instead of a serious discussion. Politics does love its drama!. Fact: It's almost like senators think they're in a reality show where they need to 'find common ground' instead of actually doing their jobs..
• Headline: Excerpts: Only Witnesses Will Provide 'the Entire, Complete Picture'. Impact: The call for witnesses at the impeachment trial may have inadvertently turned every political discussion into a dramatic courtroom scene, complete with surprise witness reveals. Tune in next week for the shocking conclusion!. Fact: The Senate: where every meeting feels like an episode of Law & Order and everyone secretly wishes they had better writers..
• Headline: Shock to Replace Dummies In TV Ads on Seat Belt Use. Impact: Switching from dummies to real people in seatbelt ads may have changed the landscape of advertising forever, leading to the rise of 'real-life' horror stories in marketing. Because nothing sells safety like a dramatic reenactment!. Fact: Using real people in ad campaigns: a surefire way to guarantee that your viewers will be terrified into using your product. Thanks, Transportation Department!.