DECEMBER 16, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discover O Padiero's Portuguese Cuisine. Impact: This article sparked a worldwide obsession with carbs, leading to a series of bread-themed Instagram accounts that ultimately contributed to the invention of the gluten-free diet as a backlash. Thanks, Eric Asimov!. Fact: Did you know that bread was once considered a luxury item? Now it's just a vehicle for avocado toast!.
• Headline: Justice Dept. Challenges Aid to Iraq. Impact: This warning sent shockwaves through the activist community, inspiring a wave of covert operations and underground soup kitchens that would ultimately culminate in the rise of the modern 'protest potluck'.. Fact: Did you know that red tape was actually invented as a snack for bureaucrats? It's the only thing more convoluted than the U.S. government’s stance on foreign aid..
• Headline: Harvard Rally Defends Clinton Amid Impeachment. Impact: This rally not only galvanized a generation of students to become politically active but also unwittingly set the stage for future rallies where students would protest everything from tuition hikes to the availability of gluten-free options in the dining hall.. Fact: Harvard students have rallied for so many causes that they could probably form an Olympic team for protesting!.
• Headline: Commercial Real Estate; A Tenancy Transformation for an Office Tower on 57th Street. Impact: The influx of financial companies into this building led to a mysterious increase in coffee consumption and a sudden spike in 'power suit' sales across Manhattan. Coincidence? I think not.. Fact: Did you know that the average office worker consumes enough coffee to fill a small swimming pool? It's basically a corporate Olympic sport..
• Headline: Tie to NATO Forces Ireland To Reconsider Neutral Role. Impact: This shift in Ireland's stance led to a long-term existential crisis about neutrality that would be debated in pubs for decades, ultimately resulting in the invention of the 'Irish Neutrality Cocktail'—a drink that promises to help you avoid taking sides.. Fact: Ireland's neutrality policy is so strong it could probably survive a zombie apocalypse, provided the zombies agreed to stay neutral too..
• Headline: Law Limiting Cigarette Ads Is Overturned. Impact: This ruling not only unleashed a wave of cigarette advertising but also inspired a new generation of marketers who would later pivot to promoting vaping, thus ensuring that the cycle of bad decisions would continue indefinitely.. Fact: You know it's bad when even the cigarette ads are like, 'Hey, don't do this!'.
• Headline: The Intense Pleasures Of Dark Chocolate. Impact: This article led to a global increase in dark chocolate consumption, which in turn inspired an entire generation to believe they were 'health-nuts' simply because they chose 70% cocoa over milk chocolate. The irony is delicious.. Fact: Did you know that dark chocolate is technically a health food? So go ahead, have that second piece—it’s practically a salad!.
• Headline: COLLEGE BASKETBALL: Small College, Second Chance; Basketball Prospect Spent Prison Term Preparing for Future. Impact: Melvin Whitaker's return to basketball inspired countless athletes to rethink their life choices, proving that sometimes a boxcutter can cut more than just flesh—it can also cut through to redemption.. Fact: They say sports can change lives, but in Whitaker's case, it’s more about changing the narrative. Just imagine the locker room stories!.
• Headline: Norman Fell, 74, Actor Known for TV Role. Impact: Fell's passing marked the end of an era for sitcom fans and, quite possibly, the last time anyone saw a landlord who wasn't a caricature of greed. His legacy lives on in reruns and the occasional 'Three's Company' marathon.. Fact: Did you know that 'Three's Company' had to change its original name from 'Three's a Crowd' because the network thought it sounded too much like a dating app?.