NOVEMBER 26, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Metro Business Lockout Affects Employee Benefits. Impact: The workers losing their ABC benefits led to an underground movement where they formed a secret society dedicated to broadcasting the woes of locked-out employees. This society inadvertently inspired a cult classic film about labor rights that would become a staple in film schools for decades. Fact: The average ABC employee's benefit package was about as useful as a chocolate teapot. But hey, at least they had a great story to tell at parties!.
• Headline: Levy's Potential Return to Netanyahu's Cabinet. Impact: David Levy's return to the cabinet sparked a series of political alliances that sowed the seeds for a wildly successful reality show about Israeli politics, which eventually became a worldwide sensation. Who knew governance could be so entertaining?. Fact: In Israeli politics, 'former ally' is just code for 'I need someone to blame when this all goes wrong.'.
• Headline: In Free-Agent Poker, Williams Takes the Pot. Impact: Bernie Williams signing that massive contract sent ripples through the sports world, leading to a surge in parents naming their children after him in hopes that they too would one day sign a life-changing deal. Spoiler: most don't. Fact: For $87.5 million, you'd think they'd at least throw in a lifetime supply of baseballs and gloves. But nope, just a lot of pressure!.
• Headline: 5 Men Rob Supermarket In Brooklyn of $15,000. Impact: This robbery led to a spike in supermarket security measures, which eventually resulted in the introduction of those awkward self-checkout kiosks that everyone pretends to understand but really just want to avoid human interaction. Fact: Robbing a supermarket for $15,000 is like robbing a bank for a pack of gum. What was the plan? To buy a lifetime supply of cereal?.
• Headline: Cellularvision Sells Licenses To Winstar. Impact: This sale of wireless licenses launched Winstar into the stratosphere of telecommunications, ultimately leading to the invention of the smartphone – which, ironically, people now use to complain about their cell service. Fact: Cellularvision felt like they were selling magic beans. Little did they know, they were just passing the buck to the next tech giant.
• Headline: ADMIRAL ACCUSED OVER CONTRACTS. Impact: The scandal surrounding Rear Adm John T Scudi opened the floodgates for military oversight, leading to a new era of accountability that made future admirals think twice before engaging in unethical escapades. It also sparked a best-selling book titled 'Nautical Naughtiness.'. Fact: Adultery and military contracts: the combo you never knew could lead to such a thrilling scandal. Who knew the Pentagon had such juicy gossip?.
• Headline: Beijing Says It Will Bid For Olympics Set for 2008. Impact: Beijing's bid for the 2008 Olympics set off a chain reaction that led to significant urban development and international attention, which some say was just a smokescreen to distract from other issues. But hey, who doesn't love a good Olympic spectacle?. Fact: The Olympics are basically the world's largest 'who can outdo whom' competition. Spoiler: everyone's a winner until the bill comes.