OCTOBER 31, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revitalizing Theater Row on 42nd Street. Impact: If this theater revival had never happened, Broadway might have turned into a giant Starbucks, and we would all be sipping overpriced lattes while watching puppet shows—thankfully, the arts prevailed!. Fact: The last time someone tried to revive a theater, it was just a group of actors trying to convince people that their terrible play was actually Shakespeare..
• Headline: California Candidates Seek Middle Ground. Impact: This election year set the stage for California to become the political circus it is today, and who knew that swing voters would become the ultimate game show contestants, deciding their fate with a spin of the wheel?. Fact: California's political landscape is so unpredictable that even the weather forecast is jealous of its volatility..
• Headline: Tribute to Newspaper Editor Deidre S. Murphy. Impact: Deidre S. Murphy's passing reminds us that even the most dedicated editors eventually have to hit 'edit' on their own lives, leaving behind a legacy of ink and deadlines.. Fact: Newspaper editors are like unsung heroes; they save the world one typo at a time, but no one ever thanks them for it..
• Headline: ECONOMIC GROWTH SURPRISINGLY SOLID IN THIRD QUARTER. Impact: This surprisingly solid economic growth might have caused a ripple effect where everyone suddenly thought they were financial wizards, leading to a global obsession with DIY investment blogs.. Fact: When economists say 'surprisingly solid,' they really mean 'We have no idea what's happening, but let's just pretend we're in control.'.
• Headline: Candidates Are Neck, Neck and Neck in Governor's Race. Impact: The neck-and-neck race between these candidates proves that in politics, even the most unlikely characters can make it to the finish line—who knows, maybe next time it’ll be a talking dog!. Fact: Jesse Ventura's presence in the race was like that one friend who shows up to a party and suddenly makes everything way more interesting..
• Headline: Glenn Reports Back to Earth, 'It's Been a Great Ride So Far'. Impact: John Glenn's return might have inspired a generation to believe that space travel is just a hop, skip, and a jump away, leading to the eventual rise of backyard rocket launches and questionable science fairs.. Fact: Glenn's adventures in space prove that even astronauts think eating in orbit is a 'great ride'—but what about the bathroom situation?.
• Headline: Wilhelm Karmann Jr., 83; Ran German Car Body Maker. Impact: Wilhelm Karmann Jr.'s legacy in car manufacturing may have inadvertently set the stage for future generations to believe that all cars should be stylish—leading to the rise of the infamous 'mismatched bumper sticker' generation.. Fact: The Karmann Ghia was so iconic that it made drivers believe they were cooler than they actually were, much like sunglasses do today..
• Headline: House Race Centers on a Fiery Incumbent. Impact: The fiery political race in Idaho set the precedent for future candidates to realize that in politics, having a fiery personality often beats having actual policies—who knew theatrics was the secret sauce?. Fact: Helen Chenoweth's campaign strategy was essentially a masterclass in how to be loud enough to drown out all rational debate..