OCTOBER 18, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Competitive Race for Connecticut's Fifth District. Impact: Mark Nielsen's defeat in this race sparked a chain reaction leading to the rise of a new breed of politicians who think wearing a tailored suit is a substitute for actual policy knowledge. The fashion industry thanks him.. Fact: Did you know that Congress has a 90% incumbency rate? It's like a really boring reality show where nobody gets voted off the island..
• Headline: The Legacy of Connecticut's Electric Streetcars. Impact: The last run of electric street cars not only marked the end of an era but also led to the rise of modern-day traffic jams that have us all collectively screaming at our GPS devices. Thanks, progress!. Fact: Did you know that streetcars were once the preferred method of transport? Now we just have Uber drivers judging us for our life choices..
• Headline: Victory in October Is a First for Gordon. Impact: Gordon's victory sparked a bizarre fascination with nighttime races, leading to NASCAR fans insisting that all sporting events should be held under the stars. Next up: professional napping competitions.. Fact: Did you know that NASCAR stands for 'National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing'? Because 'fast cars going in circles' just didn't have the same ring to it..
• Headline: Morning TV, Evening Recital: Just Another Day. Impact: Zukerman’s dual career led to a strange trend where flutists began moonlighting as TV hosts, resulting in a generation of musicians who can't decide if they prefer performing or just reading teleprompters.. Fact: Did you know that flutes have been around since at least 900 BC? Clearly, they were the original 'social media' of the ancient world..
• Headline: SOAPBOX; The Garden in Autumn. Impact: Marta McDowell’s musings on gardening led to the rise of the 'autumn garden influencer', transforming Instagram into a platform where people share photos of their pumpkins and pretend they know what 'deadheading' means.. Fact: Did you know that gardening can reduce stress? So can binge-watching shows about gardening—just saying..
• Headline: Muscleman, or 98-Pound Weakling?. Impact: Uchitelle’s assessment led to an obsession with economic fitness, where everyone began comparing their personal finances to the GDP, resulting in a generation of people who now lift their wallets instead of weights.. Fact: Did you know that economic recovery is often called a 'rebound'? Because who wouldn’t want their finances to bounce back like a basketball?.
• Headline: A Cultural Standoff Over Guns. Impact: The debate in Mohegan Lake ignited a nationwide discussion that ultimately resulted in every new Wal-Mart being required to have a 'gun aisle', leading to the strange phenomenon of moms buying groceries next to rifles. Welcome to America!. Fact: Did you know the Second Amendment was ratified in 1791? Clearly, they wanted to ensure that everyone had the right to be equally confused about gun control for centuries to come..
• Headline: ART REVIEWS; A Most Appropriate Place to Celebrate the Sea. Impact: Phyllis Braff’s review inspired a tidal wave of sea-themed art shows across the country, resulting in countless confused visitors wondering why a giant inflatable whale is considered 'art'.. Fact: Did you know that abstract art is often just a fancy way of saying 'I splashed paint and called it a day'? Art critics are basically the best hype men..