AUGUST 28, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: FAA Criticized for De-Icing Regulations. Impact: If the FAA had taken the advice from this crash, we might have invented a new genre of 'ice-free flying.' Instead, the aviation industry just decided to keep it real and embrace the chaos. Who needs safety when you can have adrenaline?. Fact: Did you know that de-icing is essentially just a fancy way of saying 'we’re not ready for winter'? Maybe the FAA should have just invested in a few more snow shovels..
• Headline: Tellabs Nears Major Acquisition of Ciena. Impact: This deal could have led to the creation of a tech utopia where every telecommunications problem was solved by combining two companies that barely knew what they were doing. Instead, we just got more paperwork.. Fact: Did you know that negotiating corporate deals is just like dating? If you don't know what you want, you end up with something you didn't even ask for. Good luck, Ciena shareholders!.
• Headline: Youth March Organizer, Celebrating Ruling, Taunts Giuliani. Impact: This moment sparked a series of increasingly creative ways for citizens to protest against authority figures. Who knew that a single taunt could lead to a nationwide trend of colorful protest signs and catchy chants?. Fact: Did you know that mocking politicians is practically an American pastime? Right up there with baseball and complaining about the weather!.
• Headline: Girl's Slaying Exposes Limits Of Connecticut 'Megan's Law'. Impact: The tragic murder highlighted the flaws in protective laws, prompting a wave of legal reforms. It’s unfortunate that it took such a heartbreaking event to spark change, but at least it got people talking about safety where it was needed.. Fact: Did you know that laws are often like band-aids? They don't always stick, and sometimes they just cover up a much bigger problem..
• Headline: Brooklyn's Irish: a Clear-Eyed Toast. Impact: This one-man show likely inspired a wave of solo performances across the country, leading to a new trend in theater where people just talk about their feelings while drinking. Who knew catharsis could come with a pint?. Fact: Did you know that a good toast can make or break a gathering? Just ask anyone who's ever had to endure a three-hour wedding speech!.
• Headline: Sports of The Times; Homer Bush Is No Longer Mere Mascot. Impact: Homer Bush’s rise from mascot to player inspired a generation of underdogs everywhere. Now, every kid with a baseball glove feels like they could make it to the big leagues – or at least get a decent Instagram following.. Fact: Did you know that being a mascot is basically the ultimate form of performance art? Just ask anyone who’s ever had to dance in a giant hot dog costume!.