AUGUST 22, 1998

Full News Archive

• Headline: Harlem's Voices on Youth March Concerns. Impact: The Million Youth March led to a sudden influx of youth activism, which in turn inspired future generations to protest everything from climate change to pineapple on pizza. It’s a slippery slope, folks.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more contentious than the Million Youth March was the debate over whether the marching band should play 'Eye of the Tiger' or 'We Will Rock You.'.
• Headline: Pastor Groeschel's Pyramid Scheme Controversy. Impact: This pyramid scheme scandal opened the floodgates for future 'spiritual but not religious' scams, leading to an explosion of self-help books that promised enlightenment and wealth if you just bought the latest edition of 'How to Manifest Your Dreams.'. Fact: Did you know that pyramid schemes have made more people rich than actual pyramids? It's all about selling the dream, not the reality..
• Headline: Sports of the Times; Fassel Made Right Call On Sehorn. Impact: This decision sparked a debate over player safety that still rages today. Oh, and it also ensured that sports commentators would forever have a reason to argue about everything from player fitness to the merits of kale smoothies.. Fact: Did you know that if you listen closely, you can hear sports commentators arguing about this call in their sleep? They take their jobs very seriously..
• Headline: The Audience Dodges a Hail of Jokes. Impact: This event inadvertently led to a surge in comedy clubs across the nation, where aspiring comedians learned that dodging bad jokes is a survival skill. Years later, audiences became so skilled at dodging they could avoid bad humor like Neo in The Matrix.. Fact: Did you know that a 'fugitive' parody is just a fancy way of saying 'we ran out of original ideas'?.
• Headline: E. G. Lowry Jr., 95, Insurance Executive. Impact: Lowry's tenure in the insurance industry laid the groundwork for the complicated world of insurance that still confuses people today. Thanks to him, we have an entire generation of adults who still can't explain what their life insurance policy actually covers.. Fact: Did you know that insurance executives have the unique ability to make the most thrilling life seem utterly boring? It's a gift, really..
• Headline: James A. Perkins, 86, Adviser On Higher Education Policy. Impact: Perkins' influence on higher education has resulted in a never-ending cycle of student debt and overpriced textbooks, ensuring that every generation feels the pinch of education expenses. Thanks for that, James!. Fact: Did you know that Perkins' advice was so sought after that his phone book was thicker than most college textbooks? Talk about a heavy read!.
• Headline: Clinton's Gifts to Lewinsky Exceed Earlier Disclosures. Impact: This revelation sparked a media frenzy that changed the landscape of political scandals forever. Now, politicians are practically required to have a 'gift-giving strategy'—because who doesn't love a good scandal?. Fact: Did you know that the most expensive gift in politics is an oversized apology? It’s worth a fortune in public opinion!.